I was walking on a street corner in Cayucos California, the sea salt smell was in the air and the sweet taste of brown sugar from the Brown Butter cookie company permeated my tastebuds.
I was wearing a flowing leopard skirt and a black shall top and taking my time walking around. Swaying my hips, feeling my body, enjoying each step and each sensation.
Then I saw him. A man on the corner who was staring me down. In past lives I would have either shrunk down or turned my gaze or thought that guy was creepy. And to be honest, this guy was a grundged up, drunkard looking kind of guy standing in front of a liquor store… in a small middle of nowhere town in Cali.
On this day, I looked him straight in the eyes and I smiled at him, maybe for longer than he was even comfortable with. Not a gaze of “don’t look at me” or “I’ll fuckin kill you muther fucka..” like some women would put out, mine is a gaze of deep gratitude and appreciation.
Thank you for noticing me, my eyes say. I appreciate your attention and I humbly receive it. I see you.
And as I pass keeping my eyes on his, I feel and receive the connection that is there and keep on walking. Allowing that one moment to fill me up even more.
Then I had this ah-ha moment which compelled me to get out my ipad and sit down in front of the cookie shop, feeling the ocean breeze and hearing the waves crashing, relishing the crisp air and the warmth of the sun, so I could write out my brilliant thought:
Women have the power to create Kings with our presence.
That man’s whole being just completely shifted as I watched him and as I acknowledged him for noticing me. It was like all of the sudden 1000 pounds was lifted from him because he now had permission to just enjoy noticing a beautiful woman just like he would enjoy the beauty of the ocean right in front of us. And now, who knows where he’s going, but he will be a different man with who ever he is around and THAT is world changing.
What women don’t realize is that men are noticing them all the time, and a lot of the time, they feel like sleezebags and shameful of themselves for looking at a woman. When I first noticed the man noticing me, he wasn’t aware that I was noticing him noticing me, and when he realized it, I could see him get startled and think about possibly turning his gaze away in shame like he needed to hide it.
In my world I don’t do that. There is no need to turn your gaze away because there is nothing wrong with noticing my presence or my beauty. There is no fear that I have about a man’s gaze threatening me or being dangerous.
Women, you are on this earth to be a walking art piece. Beautiful just like a mountain, the ocean. You are that awe inspiring. So the next time you see a man noticing you… staring at you… acknowledge him for noticing the beauty in this world. Thank him with your eyes, have the presence to look him straight, nod your head like the queen that you are and receive his gaze, and then watch his whole being shift because with one look, you were just able to unravel all of his shame around enjoying the beauty, sexuality, and femininity of a woman.
You are a woman who can trust herself with her own sexuality and femininity and so you do not guard your beauty for only the ‘worthy’ or those you want something from. You do not see a man looking at you and assume he only wants ONE thing.
And maybe he does want ONE thing, but it’s not really sex.
He wants to feel alive, present, in his body. Your presence is helping him do that. And your own trust in yourself is helping him innately see that when he comes alive in your presence, it’s a reflection of what’s already inside of him because you’re willing to stay open and connected instead of withdraw your beauty and light because you fail to trust that you can handle your own full expression in any situation.
I was sitting with one of the most powerful men in the world of business consulting a few weeks ago and we were speaking about feminine presence. This man had just been through a divorce with a woman who was very much in the masculine essence role in the partnership without being any sort of expert on masculine/feminine dynamics he told me, “you know there’s a magnetism about a woman that is beyond sexuality, it’s awe inspiring.”
BINGO. It’s not something that we have to learn. Men GET it. Men get us, they get women. It’s time to let that story go that they don’t get it. It’s in their bones to know us. And we can allow that knowing to come out if we are willing to be responsible for knowing ourselves.
Your eyes and your smile can create kings in this world full of boys pretending to be men.
You are that powerful.
Imagine being a man in this world full of beautiful woman and all of the sudden, now all of the women are telling you not to look, don’t enjoy this wonderous site.
It’s like taking a vacation to the carribean and saying don’t look at the ocean, don’t even enjoy the site of it because if you do, you’ll be disrespecting it.
Women of the world. You are an ocean of beauty in a world full of struggle.
It is not men’s job to stop looking at you or enjoying your presence. In fact their enjoyment and appreciation of your presence will only work to help more of your own feminine essence blossom and shine.
It is your job to trust yourself enough with your body and your sexuality. To trust yourself enough to know when to say yes and no. To be the master of your own body and your own energy so that you always know your power wherever you are and whoever you are with.
In the same light, if we can create Kings, we can also create boys pretending to be men. It is our presence that asks the men in our lives to show up and so we must look at our own presence and discover for ourselves what we are asking of the world from it.
In no way am I asking anyone to take responsibility for the men’s role in this co-creation, I am simply highlighting where we as women can start to take responsibility for how our world shows up for us and for those around us.
One glance, one look from you really can create a ripple effect that will change the world. REALLY. It can. I have seen it, experienced it with my own being.
So go on, thank those men with your eyes, aknowledge them with your presence, receive them with gratitude and watch how your world changes and how the men start to show up for you
Comments, thoughts, related stories? Post em on the blog or send me an email, you know how I love those 🙂
I will be posting more about the past three weeks of my life as I’ve been on this journey being a gypsy and following my flow. I love you all and am looking forward to hearing from you.