Yes, it’s the truth that I am who I am today because of the path of my life and what I went through, but I think the value of human experience and the gift of being able to articulate my experience and the lessons I learned are to share them with humanity so that other people don’t have to go through the same thing.
This is how we evolve human consciousness. This is how we help each other; when we have the courage to share our experiences and our feelings as honestly as possible. When we share from a place where we just can’t help from writing the words, making the video, or saying the thing we want to say.
When we share because our heart still feels for that younger version of ourselves that is in the exact same place as we were. Because we see ourselves in another.
And that kind of sharing is brave. Sometimes what you say will be messy. Sometimes it will cause others to get angry. Sometimes it melts hearts.
Almost all change occurs through re-organization and a period of chaos and disharmony. I had to get comfortable in my own journey with being not only someone who would inspire good feelings, hope, love, and empowerment for people, but also that what I have to say is gonna cause some discomfort and make people upset, not like me as much. It sounds simple really, but for someone like me who spent my whole life people pleasing, it was very very hard to get used to.
I constantly *struggle* with my writing and my sharing about where it’s coming from and what my motives are. I wonder if I’m just trying to get attention, to feel validated, to feed my ego. And then at some point I just have to let go of that and trust that my impulses are leading me perfectly and I can handle whatever comes up.
But the more I write, the more I learn to trust. A writer friend of mine said it perfectly “writing, is such a masochistic path”, but it’s also a free-ing path. It’s the most vulnerable, naked, stripped thing I can think of and to do it without getting co-erced and co-opted is an achievement, especially by money.
Learning to be real and see clearly in an unreal world is the greatest and most awesome challenge I’ve ever taken on. And I know a lot of you can relate. I feel you.
You’re not alone.