Women of the World: You have the Power to Create Kings

Women of the World: You have the Power to Create Kings

I was walking on a street corner in Cayucos California, the sea salt smell was in the air and the sweet taste of brown sugar from the Brown Butter cookie company permeated my tastebuds. I was wearing a flowing leopard skirt and a black shall top and taking my time walking around. Swaying my hips, feeling my body, enjoying each step and each sensation. Then I saw him. A man on the corner who was staring me down. In past lives I would have either shrunk down or turned my gaze or thought that guy was creepy. And to be honest, this guy was a grundged up, drunkard looking kind of guy standing in front of a liquor store… in a small middle of nowhere town in Cali. On this day, I looked him straight in the eyes and I smiled at him, maybe for longer than he was even comfortable with. Not a gaze of “don’t look at me” or “I’ll fuckin kill you muther fucka..” like some women would put out, mine is a gaze of deep gratitude and appreciation. Thank you for noticing me, my eyes say. I appreciate your attention and I humbly receive it. I see you. And as I pass keeping my eyes on his, I feel and receive the connection that is there and keep on walking. Allowing that one moment to fill me up even more. Then I had this ah-ha moment which compelled me to get out my ipad and sit down in front of the cookie shop, feeling the ocean breeze and hearing the waves crashing, relishing the crisp...
When a man has no agenda with your heart:

When a man has no agenda with your heart:

I feel like some big part of my heart just got put back together, I told him. You mean the part of your heart that wanted to run away? he asked. Yes, I said with a laugh. And in that moment, I got it. Like, I GOT it: In my body, in my bones, in my heart got it. I had woken up that morning with a tightness in my chest that was all too familiar. I needed to reconnect with myself, I needed space, I was sinking in with this man and I was afraid I would lose myself, lose my flow, sway from my own path and get swept up in his vortex of amazingness and forever lose my own sense of self, passion, purpose, and desire. So I decided I needed to connect to myself, by myself.  I would go for a run, go outside, connect with nature, and meditate. I woke up and told him I would be back in an hour and started climbing down the ladder of our loft bed. As I stepped down the first step he stopped time and said:  Hey.  And when he had my attention he looked right into my eyes and my soul and then said You’re beautiful.  His words traveled into my being, into my heart and opened me like a flower. I was frozen for a moment as I allowed his words to enter my body and travel downward from my heart and into my womb. As I sat and fully received what he was transmitting to me, staying connected to his eyes, I organically and...
Love is Never Lost + The New Paradigm of Breaking up

Love is Never Lost + The New Paradigm of Breaking up

A text from him is all it takes for my heart to melt. Even after a year of being apart. No matter how far I am from him or who else I’m with, my heart still bursts open in his presence, even via text message. It’s a love so deep it makes me cry. My longing turns on fire when I think of him. For a while after we broke up, I couldn’t even see him without bursting into tears. Today I texted him to set up a lunch date before I fly away from Austin on my Dance Medicine World Journey, and when I thought of seeing him for lunch in a few days, I started crying. A FREAKING YEAR later and I still cry. They are not tears of sadness really. They are tears of heart opening joy and love. They are the tears of my desire. The remembering my heart has of what it feels like to be in so much viscous juicy love with another being. The remembering of what it feels like to be in communion with a good man, who worshiped me and I him. The tears are the cry of my soul in reminding me what I truly desire in life. The cultural delusion we create that says when you break up with someone all of the sudden you no longer love them, you’re not allowed to have feelings for them, you’ll have to just get over it, move on and be done with it, is at this point in my life such bullshit to me. Moving on has nothing to do...