Throw Away your Feminine Archetypes….and Be Yourself.

Throw Away your Feminine Archetypes….and Be Yourself.

What would you say if I asked you to throw out all your archetypes, goddesses, and inspirational females you try to model yourself after? I started my first Art of Feminine Presence class in boulder this week and the theme of the series is DEFINE YOUR OWN FEMININE ARCHETYPE. I encouraged my ladies to throw away goddesses, inspirational leaders, and other feminine inspirations OUT THERE for the duration of our series to give themselves the space to feel and receive their own core essence. Kinda radical I suppose, but you know me. Do archetypes help us embody aspects of ourselves, yes. They can. AND they can also leave those aspects right were we found them, in the archetypes never to be integrated. Here’s my experience, not theory.  At first, the archetypes and inspirations are a muse, an inspiration. They are the INITIATION, the way shower. But when you want to bring it into YOUR BODY, YOUR VOICE,  YOUR MOVEMENT, when you’re looking to females OUT THERE for this, the best you’re gonna get is still feeling like there is something missing inside of you, because what you want is perpetually OUT THERE. Until you go within and discover the visceral , tangible, sense and feeling of your own essence, and then begin the process of bringing the inside out so you can have your own impact and presence reflected back to you, you will always feel like you don’t know your own value. This last year has been pivotal for me because I used it to digest what I had learned, and it was not always easy or painless....
The Decent: My Sensual Meditation Practice

The Decent: My Sensual Meditation Practice

I am standing. It is 7am. I ground my feet, imagine roots from my feet into the floor. I stick my toungue out my mouth and breath out swiftly like a dog in heat and feel my pelvic floor relex. I relax my heart, soften my heart and shoulders, my legs are like tree trunks. I begin to imagine a glowing light in the center of my pelvis, 2 or 3 inches below my belly button, physically inside my pelvis. I breath this light; expansion and contraction, expansion and contraction. I imagine a warm dollop of honey at the base of my pelvis. Begin. Deep and moving music begins to play. I start to rock my hips forward and backward ever so slowly. My attention flows from my head, swirling and buzzing, down into the rocking of my hips. I feel the resistance as my forehead clenches and my eyes squint, it’s as if my third eye has it’s own eyelid and it wants to stay shut. I continue rocking my pelvis forward and backward, slowly, fluidly, pleasurably, as though I’m standing in a jar of honey. I soften my heart, I soften my jaw. The tension from the evenings sleep and the pain in jaw begin to melt away. I feel my energy in my throat and heart, my pelvis beckons my attention down down down. 2 Minutes: A thought pops into my mind and I’m back in the buzzing between my eyes. Ok Womb, I’m coming back down, I hear you. I think. God I’m terrible at getting out of my head, damn this gemini mind…. inner...
Two keys of Feminine Presence: The Womb-Heart Connection

Two keys of Feminine Presence: The Womb-Heart Connection

After a year off of teaching the Art of Feminine Presence, I’ve been feeling the call to teach again very very strongly. I spent 4.5 years teaching this work and through it all I cultivated a very strong practice in connecting to my feminine energy, my sexuality, and my pelvic bowl. Over the weekend a friend of mine had a ‘come to jesus’ talk with me about my own wisdom and as he guided me through my body, I had a revelation about my womb center, trusting myself, and my heart. I realized that I had been ignoring my womb in favor of my heart and it was causing my heart to go into a sort of ‘cardiac arrest’; my heart felt alone and exhausted.  What I realized is that the womb and heart have a symbiotic relationship and I’ve been trying for so long to figure out how to connect the two, but have simply been over-functioning in one or the other. And this weekend something clicked: The womb is the root and the heart is the flower, and when the womb is “turned on” the heart can blossom freely without feeling exhausted. And this has more implications than I’m going to speak about in this ONE post, but know that when your womb and heart are out of whack and not speaking to each other, it effects everything in your life; the choices you make, the people you attract, and the things that come to you. Now as I say this, I must tell you that I have heard this before. Rachael Jayne who created The Art...
What Happens When a Man Shows you Where He Stands

What Happens When a Man Shows you Where He Stands

I’ll never forget the feeling, sitting next to him on the sidewalk, feeling his presence. He wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t warm. Yet he wasn’t closed to me either. He was clear. He was standing his ground. He was driving his stake further into the earth. My body was reeling. All kinds of knots inside me were becoming present. Not the knots of danger or warning, but the knots of old held onto emotions, things to be let go of. The sort of knots that were putting me face to face with my self, with what I needed to look at and be responsible for. The places I had been placing blame I felt myself wanting to grab his attention, fix myself, fix him, do something to make the uncomfortable feeling in my body go away. I felt like I had disappointed him and myself. For a woman, there is a distinct flavor of feeling when a man that we love feels disappointed in us. It’s not the most fun feeling. It brings up all our deepest fears and emotions about abandonment and feeling unworthy. But what happened as I just sat, staying fiercly with myself and my own internal emotions instead of running from them, was quite amazing. I looked over at him and I felt so pulled in, I felt a polarity I hadn’t felt in a while. It was so strong. His face became even more attractive, his walk was more potent, he became that much more fuck-able. His center of gravity got deeper. This was the presence of a man who wasn’t willing...
The Gift of Being Twenty Something…

The Gift of Being Twenty Something…

Your twenties are about tempering your gifts and your spirit. You are a wild horse that is learning to be more precise and more efficient. You are a chaotic mess that is learning to find it’s center in the midst of it all. You are learning what you are made of and learning to amplify your own presence to impact your life and the world. This is not an easy or comfortable process. Never let anyone say otherwise. You don’t want easy. You want growth. You want surprise. You want to fully experience what life has to offer. No. This is not easy. It’s challenging. It’s hard sometimes. You’re climbing a mountain and this requires endurance. You need spiritual and emotional endurance. You’ll need will along with strength. There will be emotional outbursts. There will be tantrums. There will be crazy. There will be mistakes and messes. There will be unexplainable and uncontrollable rage. There will be lots of tears. There will be grief and letting go. There will be bubbles that burst. Reality checks will hit you like a ton a bricks. There will be dark places and scary things. But your job is to remember the light. Remember that in the blackness of the night sky there are always stars. You are made of them. And you have a choice to remember the light, to focus on the light. You have a choice. And you must make it every second of every day.  This is what responsibility is. The choice to see the light. The choice to choose happiness even in the darkest of places. This is...
It’s OK to not know what you want

It’s OK to not know what you want

This is the single biggest question that has pulled me off my center that I’ve ever come across. What do you WANT? What do you DESIRE. Answering this question is like a house of cards. On the one hand we are told that we have to know what we want exactly in order for it to come into manifest reality. On the other, what happens if what you ask for isn’t really what you want and when you get there you’re not any happier? So we get stuck in this place asking for things constantly, exhausting ourselves trying to be the creator of our realities and not actually enjoying the simple moments of our everyday lives. Up until about a year ago, I was on this goose chase always asking for more, always clarifying my desires, and always ending up being a failure if I didn’t have it happen, or feeling strangely unfulfilled if it did happen because once it did it was on to the next thing already. I didn’t really know what I wanted, but I felt afraid to not know because well, then what would happen to my life? How could I be sure that I would have the life I wanted? Every other powerful woman I know knows what they clearly. If I can’t know this, why would anyone even want to be around me? How will I make money and feel safe? How will I be of value to anyone? The truth was I couldn’t know what would happen in my life. I had no way of knowing what would show up if I...