Judgements aren’t always bad….Here’s Why.

Judgements aren’t always bad….Here’s Why.

I’m little erked. I’m getting tired of people giving judgements a bad rep. I understand the thought process of not judgeing others and that what we judge in others is also in us. I understand wanting to have harmony and unity on the planet. but we can’t pretend that we don’t make judgements all the time. Everytime we SEE something and say something, it’s a judgement. positive or negative. I have found that in self help land, I turned away from my judgements and in doing so turned away from myself. Because I was judging myself for making judgements. Judgements help me navigate this world. They help me learn to trust my gut, my intuition, which is nothing more than a judgement I make about a feeling I have given the information I have around me. And the more I trust my gut and go with it, the faster I can feel what’s up for me and let it go and move forward. I have learned to not be attached to my judgements, to be open to them changing and shattering, for them to not be *right*, but what I can say is that the second I let myself make clear judgements again, my life got so much more clear and fun. I was able to express myself much better, see more clearly, and be open to so much more. And I was able to let my judgements of myself go and my judgements elsewhere be fluid and malleable. It helped me engage this world in a tangible way. Without making judgements or having opinions about things, I found...
It’s OK to not know what you want

It’s OK to not know what you want

This is the single biggest question that has pulled me off my center that I’ve ever come across. What do you WANT? What do you DESIRE. Answering this question is like a house of cards. On the one hand we are told that we have to know what we want exactly in order for it to come into manifest reality. On the other, what happens if what you ask for isn’t really what you want and when you get there you’re not any happier? So we get stuck in this place asking for things constantly, exhausting ourselves trying to be the creator of our realities and not actually enjoying the simple moments of our everyday lives. Up until about a year ago, I was on this goose chase always asking for more, always clarifying my desires, and always ending up being a failure if I didn’t have it happen, or feeling strangely unfulfilled if it did happen because once it did it was on to the next thing already. I didn’t really know what I wanted, but I felt afraid to not know because well, then what would happen to my life? How could I be sure that I would have the life I wanted? Every other powerful woman I know knows what they clearly. If I can’t know this, why would anyone even want to be around me? How will I make money and feel safe? How will I be of value to anyone? The truth was I couldn’t know what would happen in my life. I had no way of knowing what would show up if I...
When Authenticity becomes really Inauthentic

When Authenticity becomes really Inauthentic

I say this with a knowing that I am walking a fine line. I’m speaking anyway….. The people who are leading can easily be getting more out of being the leader than they are actually helping you. Workshops can end up being like vortexes of spiritual heroine if the person who is leading isn’t clear on what they are doing and what is happening in the space. Sometimes leaders don’t trust the value of their own presence so they rely on smoke and mirrors practices and games. Sometimes leaders get off on being the leader and organizing everything and being in control of the flow of things so they don’t have to participate and face their own shit. I know. I was one. When I was leading women’s groups weekly I loved it. It was healing for us all and the women in my classes had their lives changing and growing and we all got so connected. Teaching that work was an integral part of my path and it was beneficial to all of us. And yet, I can still feel the part of me that at some point, was getting off on being the leader, because that was the only way that I was able to express myself fully. I didn’t understand how to be equals with anyone. So if someone saw me as a leader, that meant they saw me as above them in some way, so I had permission to be fully myself in all my glory without apology. Because they were paying me to be the leader, I could be and no one could get...
The Dirty Secrets of Self Help land Vol. 1: Learning to clearly see the person behind the website, the stage, and the brand

The Dirty Secrets of Self Help land Vol. 1: Learning to clearly see the person behind the website, the stage, and the brand

After building a business in my community and online, teaching and facillitating women’s groups for 4.5 years, helping women entrepreneurs market and grow their own businesses,  doing a network marketing business, traveling to seminars and workshops,  getting flown all over the world teaching and training, and seeing behind the scenes of what it takes to build and grow 6 and 7 figure businesses in the personal growth industry… I thought I had my life pretty much figured out. After I burnt myself out as a solo-preneur, broke up with the man I thought I would marry, and entered a psuedo sex cult, my life and my soul collapsed. And I went on a deep inner journey to untangle myself. This is what I see. This is what I have to say. I’m gonna be real, raw and honest. You may like some of what I say and you may hate it. Thats a good thing. This is my story. Welcome to The dirty secrets of self help land. VOLUME 1: Learning to clearly see the person behind the website, the stage, and the brand I am not above you. I am not below you. I am not better than you. I am not less than you. I am less different from you than you might think. In fact I am probably just like you. I AM just like you. I am not some untouchable guru person that can only interact with you as your teacher or superior. (and I used to operate this way a lil bit) I am a person. A real human. A woman. And I have challenges...